Sunday, April 29, 2012

BYTT- Week 2

Ahhhh week two...

This week both flew by and dragged on. Only people who have been through this can understand it! It's like Groundhog Day, every day is exactly the same. Yet, different emotions roll through you at any given time. I had a mostly great week, but did have a small breakdown.

The two yoga classes a day are awesome. It is exactly why I am here. My body is changing so fast. Every part is sore and tight, but my pelvis is opening up, my hamstrings are longer, my legs are looking more defined. My practice is changing by leaps and bounds. Standing bow is being held for longer amounts of time, and I have to admit that I am starting to look beautiful in it. Spine strengthening series is becoming my favorite, my cobra is so awesome and I love it so much. I have only sat out one set of triangle and one set of floor bow and one set of tree/toe stand in the entire two weeks. I feel strong and focused. In the ten years I have practiced this yoga, I have never felt this strong desire to push myself so much. Maybe being surrounded by 421 other yogis is inspiring me.

I love having different teachers every day! It is such a delight to listen to different voices and they all have little nuggets to be gleaned and taken in. Bikram is outrageous, and I haven't decided yet how I feel about his classes. I so want to set up in front of him and receive correction, but since I never know how my knee will hold up, I am afraid to take the chance that he will yell at me when I am struggling with it. One of these days, I will just have to do it anyway!

My knee. Oh my knees.

On Friday, in Tree, my good knee (which has been giving me problems for a few months now, I think because it took too much of the work from my bad knee), popped so loudly that it startled the people around me and scared the shit out of me. As the girl next to me looked over with wide eyes asking if I was okay, I just dropped down and started bawling. I was sleep deprived from only 16 hours of sleep all week long, and irritated from never having a single moment to myself, so the idea that I may have injured my good knee just broke me. I cried through most of the rest of class and a good 30 minutes after. And for evening class I stood in the back on the "sick line" and took it very easy.

I think it is okay, though.

My skeleton is rearranging. My good knee had to do a heck of a lot of work these last two years to cover for the bad knee, so I think it had to happen. They say that we will eventually feel every injury we have ever had, as all this yoga works deeper and deeper in the tissues and layers of the body, rearranging, breaking up scar tissue, and releasing emotions that we hold in our bodies. This kind of thing fascinates me.

The worst part of this is sitting in the chairs for hours of lecture, or dialogue, or Bollywood movies. Our bodies are so stiff and sore, and it really hurts to just sit! We had 3 nights this week that Boss kept us up until 3am, and most other nights ended at 1.30 or 2, so that is a lot of sitting!

My old studio owner came to a morning class and then took me to lunch. It was so nice to talk with her about all this madness!

I have met some wonderful people, and there are so many more to get to know. This is one incredible journey. I am so blessed. This teacher training has been my biggest dream for 10 years, and it is unreal that it is actually happening. I want to write everything down, remember it all, but it is just too much! So much is happening here, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I think I won't fully process it all until years later. Just trying to stay in the moment and enjoy the ride.

Sorry to be so vague. I am in a brain fog this week. I will try to write more when I feel more focused.

There is so, so, so much more to say..... 

1 comment:

  1. Peeling that onion gets stinky huh!? My hamstrings and hips refuse to peel but I refuse to give up.